Dearest Children - epilogue

It was the day before June's birthday, 29 June 2008. I had lost my battle to keep the home I had lived in for over 20 years. It had been a long, hard fought battle; one that took its toll on my finances and my health. Amazingly, i was at peace. The Father had been with me, still carrying me through this nightmare my life had become. My precious daughter, the one that i had loved, supported, helped heal from years spent in foster care, helped heal from the ravages of her birth home, had been successful in putting her mother on the street.

Well, not on the street. Like Syria, i was following The Father to a new home that he would provide for me. Like Syria i would face more trials, more unexpected events that could place me in danger. And like Syria, i had God himself to carry me, protect me, to be a lap i could climb up into when the pain got to be too much for me to bear. There were days when the pain of missing my children almost immobilized me, when the frustration at yet again being mistreated by the court system was too much for me to handle, when there was a day that i awoke thinking i simply could not get out of bed. The Father was the ONLY one i could depend on to consistently be there for me when i needed a good cry, to scream and yell at the unfairness of it all, to listen when i need to vent by saying some very "unChristlike" things.

As we were pulling away from my home, moving me to a rented house that was not the safest for my MS, a thought formed. This new thought was one that would get me through four moves within two years. It was nothing short of a miracle as when i put down roots, it takes an act of God to pull them out! "It's nothing more than kindling." "It's just kindling. God has something better for me." We are so in Matthew 24, so my mind seemed to go to the place of thinking of my home as kindling as an excellent way of thinking of my former home as i drove away. That thought became my "mantra" as i moved from one rented house to a rented motel room to yet another rented house over the next four years. God would go before me, guiding me, protecting me, providing for me as i went through each day. I learned to be thankful for the little surprises he send to encourage me when i needed it - a verse, a flower, an especially beautiful sky as I drove home, a complement from a student. be continued