Faith never gives up. Through my trials, God wants to show those watching me how he will life me up, seat me in a new place. Faith is persistent. "…for truly I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it shall move and nothing shall be impossible to you." (Matt 17:20) "The things impossible with man are possible with God." (Luke 18:27) "Did I not say to you, if you believe, you will see the glory of God?" (John 11:40) "But Moses said to the people, "Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the Lord which he will accomplish for you today: for the Eqyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever. The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent." (Ex 14:13, 14) "Trust in the Lord, and do good. Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it. And He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your judgment as the noonday. Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him." (Ps 37:3-7a) "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension shall guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:6) "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil 1:6)
Do I have faith the size of a mustard seed? Do I trust Jehovah Jireh to provide for me? Do I know that God will complete the work He began in me when He gave me my children, when He planted me in this place? Do I know that I am where He has made it clear to me that I am where He wants me? Do I know that my children will return to me though others keep telling they won't? Do I know that though man says I am unable to get a mortgage, He can make this happen?
I am struggling. I am fighting fear, discouragement, MS issues, and doubt that my faith is not what I want it to be. On one hand, I know I am to be here, that this house is my Bethphage. On the other, people keep telling me that you have to do this, or that or some other thing that I know that I simply do not have the energy to do, that I am to leave it with The Father. Why do some Christians want to fill your head with doubt, why only a few want to feed your faith?
The Father keeps bringing me back to the verses I quoted at the beginning. He knows He needs to keep those verses in front of me. He knows that I need Him to keep my faith as I am too weak to keep it. He knows I am too weak, too discouraged, too tired, too frustrated, too out of options to keep going. He must do these things. He will do them.
